Today was a battery of phone calls and a few visits. The medical supply company came to swap out the horrifically noisy home oxygen concentrator and to bring new tubing and an evaporation connector. Unfortunately there is so much humidity in my house that mom's nose runs even on this new version of the machine. She's fine on the portable tanks though. So I might have to deal with tank delivery more often than I care to. We'll see.
Next came the nurse assessment from the VNA. A delightful young woman who was also very thorough. But let's face it, Medicare pays for the barebones only so I'll be working with a social worker to figure out additional home health care, 24-hour care when needed, etc. Hopefully I'm strong enough to take on some of this for a while and only have to have someone here 4 hours or so each day so I can shop, take a break, etc. With the semester winding down and the spring semester not starting up until February I've got the flexibility of being available.
I'm tired...ok, I'm more than tired. I've reached a new level of understanding what exhaustion is. And sadly I think that I'll look back at this moment and think "Ha! I wasn't even close to the TRUE state of physical, mental and emotional exhaustion yet." Not very comforting but at least I'm realistic.
Speaking of realistic, the nurse today agreed with me: mom has probably started down that last part of road and that the the journey won't be very long. No matter how prepared I think I will be, I'm not stupid--I know I won't be ready. But I'm also aware of her growing depression and the look of being tired in her eyes and face. And I can't blame her. How she has done what she has done for the last 20 years I have no idea.
I'll write as often as possible--I want to write daily. I do not think many people will ever read this but it will be here as a chronicle regardless. She deserves that...so do I.
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