Having a cousin whose husband is a senior faculty/surgeon at NYU can have its advantages. We all got tired of waiting to hear the biopsy results, and the thought of having to wait ANOTHER week to find out what the outcome was when we met with the oncologist seemed daunting at the very least. So cousin Joseph went to work.
Short story: liver biopsy showed lesions are metastases of the breast cancer. THIS is what we were hoping for! (Ok, the miracle would have been for them to be benign but that would have been a stretch so this is a close enough mini-miracle.)
(Mom is quite possibly still crying with relief because the odds of the mastectomy actually needing to occur are very small now. We will try treatment first in the hopes of shrinking the tumors and slowing growth and spread. If that happens most likely, no mastectomy at all.)
July 30th we'll know what the plan of treatment is to be when we meet with the oncologist at NYU.
Until then we should all now have an easier weekend and front end of the week.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Now We Wait...
Got home about an hour ago--yesterday was long, brutal and exhausting for everyone. Here's the breakdown:
If all this goes according to the plan above, kidney surgery would be done sometime in the mid to late fall.
At any rate, all the tests are done and now we just sit and wait to for the phone to ring with the results.
That's it, I'm beat and want to take a nap.
- 5:00 AM- depart Delaware for New York
- 7:30 AM - arrive at NYU Medical Center; cousin Patty meets us there with wheelchair
- 9:00 AM - Mom taken into Radiology for liver biopsy
- 10:00 AM - biopsy finished and Mom is taken upstairs to be monitored for swelling, pain, bleeding, etc.
- 1:15 PM - depart NYUMC and go to NYU Cancer Institute for 2nd breast biopsy
- 3:00 PM - Pathology, me and Patty VERY confused as instead of a core biopsy another fine need aspiration was ordered....something is wrong. Pathology doctor calls breast oncologist
- 3:30 PM - Mom heads down from Pathology to breast surgeon's office (same building thankfully) for a core biopsy. (stupid, dumbshit secretary screwed up the appointment!)
- 4:00 PM - depart NYUCI for NYU Urology Associates 2 blocks away--we walk/push.
- 5:00 PM - meet with Mom's now assigned urologist for an exam. He then called the breast surgeon/oncologist and discussed his thoughts of action for the kidney situation, etc. We then had a discussion on the following:
Nice, huh? Actually, as harsh as the above reads, the urologist was anything BUT harsh. He was open, honest and incredibly thorough. And he was NICE! He didn't leave the room to speak with Mom's breast surgeon--he made the call right in front of us. He said if the tests come back as we are all hoping it is a very positive thing, and the outcome will also be positive. He is worried that the kidney tumor, which is most likely NOT related to the breast or liver cancers, will spread eventually and that is very, very bad. BUT it is not something he feels needs to be dealt with immediately. The other two issues must get under control because kidney surgery, while only around a 2 hour procedure, is very serious and mom needs the strength for post-op recovery.Right kidney contains a huge mass; **IF** liver tissue matches breast tissue (the cancer that is) then Mom will most likely undergo anti-hormonal meds and some chemotherapy for approximately 3 months. At the end of that treatment period new images will be taken and if she has done well and the tumors have responded to the treatment (meaning shrunk), then we will deal with the kidney situation....meaning surgery to, and I quote "Get that thing out of there because **THAT** is what can kill you."
If all this goes according to the plan above, kidney surgery would be done sometime in the mid to late fall.
At any rate, all the tests are done and now we just sit and wait to for the phone to ring with the results.
That's it, I'm beat and want to take a nap.
Sunday, July 13, 2008
Wednesday -- Gonna Be A Long Day
The schedule for this week is set and everything is happening in one day....I just hope it's not too much.
Wednesday, July 16---
What I hate most about everything is actually all the waiting--talk about the proverbial "hurry up and wait" scenario. Wednesday is only 3.5 days from now and it feels like it is years away. I am the world's biggest control freak (all of you reading this know this as pure fact) and I do better with knowing details and moving forward along paths of action. I simply hate NOT KNOWING what we're dealing with.
So I'm preparing for the worse and hoping/praying for the best......shit.
Wednesday, July 16---
- 9:00 AM: CT guided liver biopsy at NYU Medical Center
- 2:30 PM: another biopsy of the breast tumor, most likely a core biopsy @ NYU Cancer Institute
- 4:00 PM: meet with a urologist at his office 2 blocks away from NYUCI
What I hate most about everything is actually all the waiting--talk about the proverbial "hurry up and wait" scenario. Wednesday is only 3.5 days from now and it feels like it is years away. I am the world's biggest control freak (all of you reading this know this as pure fact) and I do better with knowing details and moving forward along paths of action. I simply hate NOT KNOWING what we're dealing with.
So I'm preparing for the worse and hoping/praying for the best......shit.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
One Bit of Good News
Mom's cardiologist wanted to see her before signing off on medical clearance for surgery...whenever that is going to be. We spent the better part of the afternoon there--not becaue of anything bad but because there is ALWAYS at least a one hour wait to be seen from whatever your actual appointment time is. Why? He's one of the best cardiologists in the area so that's probably why.
Long story short: he has no concerns at all about her undergoing any surgeries--he considers her to be a low risk patient. THANK GOD! Her last stress test (November) and her last echocardiogram (May) are both good.
As we left he said, "See you in six months." I just looked at him and he said, "Yup, six months. December. Just make sure you schedule it before we're both in Tennessee for the football championship game." (He's a HUGE UD Football fan.) And while he was saying this he just nodded knowing the concern but mouthed "it will work out."
From his mouth to God's ears....and I'm not talking about the stupid football game.
Long story short: he has no concerns at all about her undergoing any surgeries--he considers her to be a low risk patient. THANK GOD! Her last stress test (November) and her last echocardiogram (May) are both good.
As we left he said, "See you in six months." I just looked at him and he said, "Yup, six months. December. Just make sure you schedule it before we're both in Tennessee for the football championship game." (He's a HUGE UD Football fan.) And while he was saying this he just nodded knowing the concern but mouthed "it will work out."
From his mouth to God's ears....and I'm not talking about the stupid football game.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Surgery On Hold--Things Just Got Complicated
Mom's surgeon called at 4:50 PM today to tell me that the results of the PET/CT scan came back showing a mass on a kidney and another mass on the liver.
Surgeon is setting up a biopsy for the liver mass and a core biopsy of the breast cancer. The hope is that the mass in the liver is related to the breast cancer. If so Mom will go on med treatments to shrink the liver mass--these meds will also slow down the growth of the breast cancer. If the mass on the liver is not related to the breast cancer, meaning if it is a different primary cancer....well, in the words of the surgeon, "That's a whole other ballgame."
That's all I know right now.
None of this is making any sense to me...none of it. It's one thing when a truck runs you over. It's something else when that same truck backs up and hits you a second time....then races forward and hits you a third time....and on and on and on.
Surgeon is setting up a biopsy for the liver mass and a core biopsy of the breast cancer. The hope is that the mass in the liver is related to the breast cancer. If so Mom will go on med treatments to shrink the liver mass--these meds will also slow down the growth of the breast cancer. If the mass on the liver is not related to the breast cancer, meaning if it is a different primary cancer....well, in the words of the surgeon, "That's a whole other ballgame."
That's all I know right now.
None of this is making any sense to me...none of it. It's one thing when a truck runs you over. It's something else when that same truck backs up and hits you a second time....then races forward and hits you a third time....and on and on and on.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Pre-Admission Test Day...and Secaucus, New Jersey
The last 24 hours were (fortunately) quite uneventful yet due to the entertainment value, worth writing about.
Even though the traveling can be a bit much at times, Mom and I both thought it best that all her pre-admission tests were done in NY as opposed to here in Delaware. With the timetable being so tight and her needing both her primary care doctor and her cardiologist to give medical clearance for the surgery, the thought of having the tests done in DE and then be delayed for who knows what reason in their getting to NYU was not something we wanted to chance. So yesterday afternoon we headed north.
The scheduling person at NYU Cancer Institute for Dr. Hiotis is, frankly, a pit bull. How she got everything scheduled for one day is beyond me, but it was clear today that when Christine calls the folks at NYU they make it work even when they don't want to. ....and part of today had to be handled elsewhere because NYU simply could not (or would not) budge.
So yesterday at 4 PM we headed to north Jersey to stay overnight in a hotel because Mom's PET/CT scan was scheduled for 7:30 AM at Park Avenue Radiologists. After checking out a bunch of different hotels and prices it was clear that I wasn't getting away with anything under $200 for the night. So at the point, screw it all: stay at the Embassy Suites and be comfortable! ...of course, finding the Embassy Suites in Secaucus, New Jersey was another thing. Fortunately my little gps got us there with a minimum of yelling between driver and passenger.
Mom was thrilled with the room! She had her own room with a 32" flat screen TV, a king bed, and a beautiful handicapped bathroom. And me? I had the entire living room to myself....with my own 32" tv, the microwave, the mini-fridge, the COFFEE MAKER, and a sofa bed...but frankly who cared about the sofa. I had some space, we wouldn't trip over each other, and Mom wouldn't worry about waking me if she needed to use the bathroom in the middle of the night.
Fast forward to bedtime....here comes the entertainment I promised. Mom was all set to get into bed, wheeled herself over to the side she usually gets in on, stands up and.....the mattress hits about 4 inches ABOVE her ass! It was a pillow top and little miss "I'm 5 feet tall" (she's 4' 11" if she's anything!) can't hoist her butt high enough to get into the bed. So she gets back into the wheelchair, rolls into the living room, exclaims "I'll sleep here on the sofa and you take the bed. It's perfectly fine." And before I know what's happening she's out of her chair and starting to sit down on the sofa bed.....which is 4 inches BELOW her ass! The world now moves in slow motion. There I am reaching out and lunging forward yelling, "Www--aa--ii--tt Ffff--ooo----rrrr meeeeee toooooo heeeeeeeellllpppppp!" And there she is making contact with the mattress and rolling onto her back, legs and feet flying up in to the air heading back OVER her head, nightgown flipping up and COVERING her head....and yes, the curtains in that part of the room were still WIDE OPEN!!
The next 10 minutes were taken up with me trying to get her upright, over to the edge of the mattress and back up and into her chair......this took place with us laughing hysterically, and yes, the curtains still wide open for all the world in the Courtyard Marriott across the way to watch.
Finally she's up and into her chair and I told her we were going back to the bedroom and getting her in the real bed. So now, picture me ON the bed behind her so that my knees are pushing down the edge of the mattress pillow top so that it can get UNDER her butt all while she is trying to shimmy backwards onto the bed. ....and no, those curtains were NOT open.
Finally she gets settled, I have worked up a good sweat and am now WIDE AWAKE. But she was in the bed and that was that. (Oh, and just let me tell you that it was a damn good thing I got her into that bed too. The bar running through the center of the sofa bed....let's just say I'll be sleeping nice and soundly tonight here at home because there was ZERO sleep for me last night.)
Out of the hotel @ 6:15 AM and outside Park Avenue Radiologists at exactly 7 AM. The PET/CT scan went along right on schedule; everyone was incredibly nice and helpful; and we were out the door and back in the car @ 9:40 AM heading over to NYU......and we were starved!
After a (gulp) magnificent....NOT...breakfast in the cafeteria at Tisch Hospital in the NYU Medical Center, we headed over to Pre-Admissions and, shocker of the day, were in and out in exactly 55 minutes! We were told it would take 3 hours....nope. 55 minutes. We headed to the car and were cruising cross town to the Lincoln Tunnel by 1:30. This meant ZERO cross town traffic, ZERO tunnel traffic and ZERO NJ Turnpike traffic. Mom was home cuddling and cooing her evil, um, er, sweet little kitty cat (thing was born of a demon seed I tell you!) by 4 PM and I was getting yelled at by the pups by 4:30 PM.
....and now we just have to go to see her cardiologist on Thursday and hopefully all will be set and in motion for next week's surgery....that is, if her primary care doctor remembers to fax her surgeon the medical clearance form. ...guess I'll be on the phone a lot tomorrow.
Even though the traveling can be a bit much at times, Mom and I both thought it best that all her pre-admission tests were done in NY as opposed to here in Delaware. With the timetable being so tight and her needing both her primary care doctor and her cardiologist to give medical clearance for the surgery, the thought of having the tests done in DE and then be delayed for who knows what reason in their getting to NYU was not something we wanted to chance. So yesterday afternoon we headed north.
The scheduling person at NYU Cancer Institute for Dr. Hiotis is, frankly, a pit bull. How she got everything scheduled for one day is beyond me, but it was clear today that when Christine calls the folks at NYU they make it work even when they don't want to. ....and part of today had to be handled elsewhere because NYU simply could not (or would not) budge.
So yesterday at 4 PM we headed to north Jersey to stay overnight in a hotel because Mom's PET/CT scan was scheduled for 7:30 AM at Park Avenue Radiologists. After checking out a bunch of different hotels and prices it was clear that I wasn't getting away with anything under $200 for the night. So at the point, screw it all: stay at the Embassy Suites and be comfortable! ...of course, finding the Embassy Suites in Secaucus, New Jersey was another thing. Fortunately my little gps got us there with a minimum of yelling between driver and passenger.
Mom was thrilled with the room! She had her own room with a 32" flat screen TV, a king bed, and a beautiful handicapped bathroom. And me? I had the entire living room to myself....with my own 32" tv, the microwave, the mini-fridge, the COFFEE MAKER, and a sofa bed...but frankly who cared about the sofa. I had some space, we wouldn't trip over each other, and Mom wouldn't worry about waking me if she needed to use the bathroom in the middle of the night.
Fast forward to bedtime....here comes the entertainment I promised. Mom was all set to get into bed, wheeled herself over to the side she usually gets in on, stands up and.....the mattress hits about 4 inches ABOVE her ass! It was a pillow top and little miss "I'm 5 feet tall" (she's 4' 11" if she's anything!) can't hoist her butt high enough to get into the bed. So she gets back into the wheelchair, rolls into the living room, exclaims "I'll sleep here on the sofa and you take the bed. It's perfectly fine." And before I know what's happening she's out of her chair and starting to sit down on the sofa bed.....which is 4 inches BELOW her ass! The world now moves in slow motion. There I am reaching out and lunging forward yelling, "Www--aa--ii--tt Ffff--ooo----rrrr meeeeee toooooo heeeeeeeellllpppppp!" And there she is making contact with the mattress and rolling onto her back, legs and feet flying up in to the air heading back OVER her head, nightgown flipping up and COVERING her head....and yes, the curtains in that part of the room were still WIDE OPEN!!
The next 10 minutes were taken up with me trying to get her upright, over to the edge of the mattress and back up and into her chair......this took place with us laughing hysterically, and yes, the curtains still wide open for all the world in the Courtyard Marriott across the way to watch.
Finally she's up and into her chair and I told her we were going back to the bedroom and getting her in the real bed. So now, picture me ON the bed behind her so that my knees are pushing down the edge of the mattress pillow top so that it can get UNDER her butt all while she is trying to shimmy backwards onto the bed. ....and no, those curtains were NOT open.
Finally she gets settled, I have worked up a good sweat and am now WIDE AWAKE. But she was in the bed and that was that. (Oh, and just let me tell you that it was a damn good thing I got her into that bed too. The bar running through the center of the sofa bed....let's just say I'll be sleeping nice and soundly tonight here at home because there was ZERO sleep for me last night.)
Out of the hotel @ 6:15 AM and outside Park Avenue Radiologists at exactly 7 AM. The PET/CT scan went along right on schedule; everyone was incredibly nice and helpful; and we were out the door and back in the car @ 9:40 AM heading over to NYU......and we were starved!
After a (gulp) magnificent....NOT...breakfast in the cafeteria at Tisch Hospital in the NYU Medical Center, we headed over to Pre-Admissions and, shocker of the day, were in and out in exactly 55 minutes! We were told it would take 3 hours....nope. 55 minutes. We headed to the car and were cruising cross town to the Lincoln Tunnel by 1:30. This meant ZERO cross town traffic, ZERO tunnel traffic and ZERO NJ Turnpike traffic. Mom was home cuddling and cooing her evil, um, er, sweet little kitty cat (thing was born of a demon seed I tell you!) by 4 PM and I was getting yelled at by the pups by 4:30 PM.
....and now we just have to go to see her cardiologist on Thursday and hopefully all will be set and in motion for next week's surgery....that is, if her primary care doctor remembers to fax her surgeon the medical clearance form. ...guess I'll be on the phone a lot tomorrow.
Sunday, July 6, 2008
Rough Day for Me
I took my run earlier today, around high noon. It wasn't an overly hot day and I just felt the need to get out. The run was great--quite relaxing. But sometime during the middle of the afternoon I hit a wall....perhaps even a little panic attack set in. I became anxious and overwhelmed. Then my aunt called and that was the end of everything--I got off the phone and simply wanted to scream.
My patience is shot, so are my nerves. I suppose that I'm trying so hard to "keep it together" that eventually one just can't any longer and there has to be some sort of release. My aunt didn't say anything to upset me but after 10 minutes of explaining why I can't leave earlier tomorrow for the hotel, that yes, the dogs are going to be looked after but that's part of the reason why I can't leave earlier---the last thing Emily (house/pet sitter) needs to do is clean up a mess. No I don't want to bring Mom over for dinner and THEN head to the hotel--it will be too much not only for her, but for me as well, etc. It was just annoying and tiresome. Thank you for offering to help; please don't keep calling and asking me if I need anything--right now I do not need anything. But I bet in two weeks when I'm home alone caring for Mom there will be reason after reason as to why no one can come to Delaware to help me "at that time." I hope I'm wrong but I'm willing to bet I'm not.
I can't concentrate on much of anything right now. I'm picking at Brian's show...got another 2 pages written a few moments ago. And then I sat there incredibly annoyed that I had to create yet ANOTHER equipment change for the guard. Why the fuck do they need 3 flag changes in the first 90 seconds of the show?! Dear Lord, save me from the "more is better" colorguard instructor in Arizona! Brian, if you're reading this: if there is a way for the guard to pick up a new flag NEAR the baritone soloist on side 2, great. If not, I ask again: do they REALLY need ANOTHER flag change???
I love my dogs, but this is the time of night they are a little "busy." And I don't have the patience. So I'm sitting on the deck with the computer surrounded by citronella candles and a delightfully strong Tangueray and tonic. It is and always has been my drink of choice. The dogs just want attention. They simply want their mommy to sit on the couch with them and watch television. But I find I can't sit still--I need to keep moving.
I want the next 2 weeks - month over. I want to know what we're ultimately dealing with. And I want it to be simple and as easy as it can be for Mom. And then I want to play golf, I want to see a movie, I want to take a vacation where I can relax for a few moments without the world crashing in and slamming me to the floor.
It's easy to "want" all those things--and if I could have my choice of only one it would be the "simple and as easy as it can be form Mom" choice.
Time will tell....it always does.
My patience is shot, so are my nerves. I suppose that I'm trying so hard to "keep it together" that eventually one just can't any longer and there has to be some sort of release. My aunt didn't say anything to upset me but after 10 minutes of explaining why I can't leave earlier tomorrow for the hotel, that yes, the dogs are going to be looked after but that's part of the reason why I can't leave earlier---the last thing Emily (house/pet sitter) needs to do is clean up a mess. No I don't want to bring Mom over for dinner and THEN head to the hotel--it will be too much not only for her, but for me as well, etc. It was just annoying and tiresome. Thank you for offering to help; please don't keep calling and asking me if I need anything--right now I do not need anything. But I bet in two weeks when I'm home alone caring for Mom there will be reason after reason as to why no one can come to Delaware to help me "at that time." I hope I'm wrong but I'm willing to bet I'm not.
I can't concentrate on much of anything right now. I'm picking at Brian's show...got another 2 pages written a few moments ago. And then I sat there incredibly annoyed that I had to create yet ANOTHER equipment change for the guard. Why the fuck do they need 3 flag changes in the first 90 seconds of the show?! Dear Lord, save me from the "more is better" colorguard instructor in Arizona! Brian, if you're reading this: if there is a way for the guard to pick up a new flag NEAR the baritone soloist on side 2, great. If not, I ask again: do they REALLY need ANOTHER flag change???
I love my dogs, but this is the time of night they are a little "busy." And I don't have the patience. So I'm sitting on the deck with the computer surrounded by citronella candles and a delightfully strong Tangueray and tonic. It is and always has been my drink of choice. The dogs just want attention. They simply want their mommy to sit on the couch with them and watch television. But I find I can't sit still--I need to keep moving.
I want the next 2 weeks - month over. I want to know what we're ultimately dealing with. And I want it to be simple and as easy as it can be for Mom. And then I want to play golf, I want to see a movie, I want to take a vacation where I can relax for a few moments without the world crashing in and slamming me to the floor.
It's easy to "want" all those things--and if I could have my choice of only one it would be the "simple and as easy as it can be form Mom" choice.
Time will tell....it always does.
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